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I am Tony, the greatest loser you'll ever know. I've been in the craziest, most unnecessary situations and plights than should ever be allowed in one lifetime, and I'm only 27! I'm talking being robbed, thrown down the stairs, almost pushed out of a window, harassed by police, mauled by an ADHD girl, mauled in the face by my own dog (twice), nearly overdosed on marijuana, chased down by a school principal in his SUV, punched in the stomach for no reason, had someone 'park' their bike into my butt crack, nearly lit on fire (by my mom), and so, so much more! Also, my family members and friends have some of their own messed up stories that I'll share, plus new commentary and predicaments unfolding each day. So much happens just being me, it's almost a crime NOT to tell anyone! Most of these stories are bad memories to me, but others find them absolutely hilarious! I keep my stories raw and unedited, and they are 100% true. They belong to you, America. Enjoy!